Love

by Kyla on February 18, 2014 · 17 comments

Dexter is a little obsessed with the idea of True Love and a True Love’s Kiss. I blame Disney – specifically the general theme of true love triumphing over anything that is the lifeblood of the Disney hit machine and is usually actioned by the magical kiss of ultimate power (aka true love). Ariel, Belle, Snow White, Aurora, Fiona, Giselle and more, all adding their own voice to the fairy-tale dream of true love that lives inside our heads.

Life isn’t a fairy tale, relationships can be damn hard work, a balancing act where compromise (or manipulation) is an art form. Trust is essential, communication and common goals can help but love (or the biochemical reaction that we call love) is that little bit of magic that makes it all work.

This week we celebrate 10 years together and our 8th wedding anniversary (today!). Ten years of sleeping with the same person, dealing with the same annoying habits, and let’s face it, having the same conversations has only deepened the bond. I love that man as much as I did in the first flush of happily ever after (even if I do want to strangle him at times).

The secret is sex, lots and lots of sex. Once the initial lust and rush of attraction starts to wane, sex really is what binds – lots of happy bonding chemicals are released after sex and the more you have sex, the more in love you are… or so the theory goes, anyway. That happy little chemical soup of oxytocin, vasopressin and endorphins is what cements the bond created through lust and attraction.

That wouldn’t made a very good Disney movie though, if the key to making ‘happily ever’ after a reality is hard work, trust, communication and lots of sex it’s probably a good thing that the mythical, all powerful True Love’s Kiss is the end of the story, otherwise we all know what kind of movies they’d end up being. ;)

I totally tried to get a photo of us kissing at our wedding for this post but honestly pictures of kissing people are kind of gross – nobody looks good mid-kiss unless it’s directed by Hollywood.

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

eva @ The Multitasking Mummy February 18, 2014 at 7:41 am

I’d love to know your secret, with a 2 year old and other things happening, sex is always the last thing on my mind! Lol.
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 11:12 am

We’ve always put equal importance on our relationship as on the kids – I don’t know if it was because it took us so long to have D (6 years) but that time together at the end of the day is super important to both of us and I think it helps. No matter how exhausted we take the time to cuddle and reconnect with each other most evenings (even without sex).

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Annaleis February 18, 2014 at 11:55 am

Congratulations Kyla. 10 years together means you survive the ups and downs and come out better on the other side. I’m with you -sex is a connector in more ways than one.
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 11:14 am

thanks :) 10 years is like 1/3 of our lives, if feels like a huge milestone.

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Josefa @always Josefa February 18, 2014 at 1:46 pm

Oh but I do go a little weak at the knees for the mere idea of true love’s kiss – I’m a hopeless romantic after all. But yes, it doesn’t end there, it barely begins there – relationships are hard work – more so than most things in life – but that would make for a pretty boring kids movie Josefa #teamIBOT
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 11:16 am

I love the idea of romance, I just ruin it with science. Love is magical though, no matter how much you try to boil it down to chemical reactions it still takes your breath away.

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Kylie Purtell, A Study in Contradictions February 18, 2014 at 3:36 pm

I am so with you on the sex thing!

Congratulations on 10 years, that is an awesome effort! Real relationships certainly do take a lot of work but it’s so worth it in the long run. Well, for me anyway! Here’s to another 10, plus many more, years together!
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 12:25 pm

thanks lovely, you’re right it is totally worth it :)

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Living Serenely February 18, 2014 at 10:53 pm

Would love to know your secret for keeping up the stamina all these years. The frequency for us nowadays has waned somewhat since the early honeymoon phase. It’s still good, but let’s say it’s more of a quality over quantity thing.
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 12:25 pm

it definitely comes down to the importance we put on our relationship, plus some of it is habit – after so long trying for a baby in one way or other and being told to have sex no less than 3 times a week we’re just used to it, it feels wrong without it!

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stephanie February 19, 2014 at 5:01 pm

A great piece of advice! Happy anniversary!
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 12:23 pm

Thank you :)

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Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me February 20, 2014 at 9:07 pm

Happy Anniversary for 18th – you share it with Aroha @ Colours of Sunset – my friend IRL!
And I have to admit, some sexy time is the only thing that sets couples apart from flatmates, especially once kids come along!
Been ages since I’ve visited you sorry, slack I know! EM xx

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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 12:27 pm

been ages since I’ve blogged, trust me I’m the slack one :D Thanks for the well wishes.

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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen February 23, 2014 at 1:27 pm

Happy Anniversary, ours is coming up soon too.
Too true that sex is the one thing that you share as a couple, and no one else. Although once kids come along, it does get left behind sometimes. :)
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Kyla February 25, 2014 at 12:28 pm

early happy anniversary for yours, i hope you have a more romantic time of it than we did!

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Sally@Toddlers on Tour February 26, 2014 at 7:29 pm

Congratulations on 10 years.

However I hate to burst your bubble, but great sex does not make a marriage – I speak from experience.

Being great friends does, this is what binds my partner and I, sex is just the bonus!
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