I thought that not being able to fall pregnant was bad but IVF quickly introduced me to a whole world of hurt – knowing that we created life that wasn’t strong enough to make it was heart-wrenching as day by day our hopes were dashed. I was unprepared for the pain of losing embryos still in the petri-dish when logically my brain told me that they were just possibilities and that until they were back in my body they didn’t have a chance anyway.
Having life put back in and failing to take? That was worse but losing our twins was one of the lowest moments ever. That still hurts, years later I still remember the day I started bleeding, still pause on their EDD and wonder ‘what if?’. It’s hard, made so much worse by the social stigma against recognising that loss. Hell, my own mother has told me that I should be “over it by now”.
So many families hurt in silence, so many experience infertility, miscarriage and loss – some have the uniquely horrifying experience of giving birth to a baby born sleeping, others have the light sucked out of their world when they lose an infant or child.
One in Four confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage. One In Four. In every 134 births a baby is born sleeping. Our infant mortality rate is 4.2 in 1000 and child mortality at 0.2 in 1000*. That’s a lot of people hurting and you know some of them, even if you do not know their pain.
Today, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. Take the time today to reach out to someone you know is missing their child, tell them you’re thinking of them, ask them how they’re doing, share that their little one hasn’t been forgotten. They’ll appreciate it more than you will know.
*ABS, Deaths Australia 2011
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