IVF or Tokyo (Disney)

by Kyla on February 25, 2014 · 18 comments

It seems so utterly ridiculous that I am at a point in my life where this is a serious question and topic of discussion in our home. Actually, discussion is a strong word… more like me ranting through my feelings and TheGamer nodding in all the right places, bless him.

Once again we have come to the end of the IVF road. I can’t imagine doing another cycle – don’t have the energy, can’t justify spending the money, not really sure that there’s space in our lives for another child anymore… The cost outweights the benefit and TheGamer feels the same. I think I’m done.

Really done.

Getting a referral to talk about getting my tubes tied kind of done.

I still feel broken, I don’t think that’s ever going away and I’m still sad. January is a bittersweet month for us with the EDD of our lost twins falling just two weeks after the birthday of our son and this January had the added pressure of yet another cycle. Add in the general feeling of having had enough followed by the February confirmation of yet another failure and it brings us to a stop, a pause (for now). We’re going to ignore the fridge full of drugs and spend our IVF money on a holiday that’s just for us, and, if we still feel done at the end of the year I’ll get myself fixed after we return from the Happiest Place on Earth (ok so that’s not the tagline of the Tokyo parks but you get my drift).

I’m beyond excited to be taking Dex to Disneyland & DisneySea. Living on the Gold Coast we are well acquainted with theme parks – we have yearly passes and go regularly but Disney is a whole different ball game and it is going to blow his mind. The Tokyo parks are (arguably) the best of the Disney parks with many Disney devotees preferring them to even the ones in the US and while the few characters he gets to meet here are exciting I am sure it will all pale in comparison to seeing his absolute favourites (like Buzz!).

We’re not going until late October but I’m already researching like mad, and, I have to admit I’m already using it as a bribery tool. Nothing makes my kid more excited to try new food than being told that the food in Tokyo is different to here and he needs to try new things so he can go to Cinderella’s Castle and enjoy the food there.

This is our first big trip overseas with Dex, our first trip out of Australia since we moved back from the UK when I was pregnant and I’m stupidly excited about it all. I love to travel and I’ve missed it so much. If you’ve been to Tokyo with kids or to any of the Disney parks I’d love some tips for survival and/or ideas of places to visit.


Photo © castles, capes & clones (creative commons, some rights reserved)

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Catwoman73 February 25, 2014 at 6:58 am

I almost had to laugh when I read your title. Hubby and I came into a bit of money late last year, and the first thing that crossed my mind was that we should try IVF. We didn’t – we went to Disney World instead. Just got back two days ago. My daughter is about the same age as Dex, and the trip was … A lot. Don’t expect to do it all or see it all- carefully research and prioritize what you really want to do. We saw less than half of Magic Kingdom, but really enjoyed what we did there. I think I expected too much of my daughter- she probably would have been happy hanging out at the pool and playing with the ducks, which was incredibly frustrating after spending all that money. I guess I’m just saying to be prepared to go with the flow, and set the bar low in terms of what you expect of him, and you’ll have a great time!

I’m terribly sorry you’ve reached this point… I’ve been trying to come to terms with the end for almost a year, and it’s been tough. I feel sad and broken, too. Sending you lots of love and wishing you peace. You’re not alone.
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Me February 25, 2014 at 8:09 am

I have nothing except to send you big hugs !!
I hope that your holiday is a fantastic one – sorry I have no tips for travelling with a little one.
Me xox
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen February 25, 2014 at 10:46 am

Wow hun, that’s a decision allright! It sounds like you really need some time out, and what better than to get away with your family.
You’ll know in your heart when it’s the right time to either say ‘enough” or “one more try”. xx
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Eleise @ A Very Blended Family February 25, 2014 at 11:36 am

Wow, what an exciting holiday you have planned. I did some IVF for a friend after their huge rollercoaster of IVF. That sacrificed so much for their precious daughter, so many nights of tears and financial strain. They too are at the point of a holiday, no more IVF. It sounds like you are at peace with your decision. Enjoy the anticipation of a fantastic holiday!
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Nikki @ Wonderfully Women February 25, 2014 at 12:29 pm

Enjoy your holiday and congratulations on finding the strength to say NO MORE! XX N
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Jody at Six Little Hearts February 25, 2014 at 1:34 pm

Definitely do Disney! I have been to both parks in the States several times and LOVE them! I wish I could afford to take my kids. Tokyo will be amazing!
Good luck with your choices on the road before you.
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Lauren @ Create Bake Make February 25, 2014 at 2:37 pm

I smiled when I saw your title, 3 1/2 years ago I could have written a similar post! We made the decision to book a trip to the USA after five failed cycles, and I decided I needed a break. As ‘luck’ would have it I fell pregnant with our twins on that last cycle, but they were born prematurely and both passed away. I hope the past month was kind to you, no matter how much time passes, I think we will always remember the ‘could have been’ dates. Enjoy planning your trip xx
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Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me February 25, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Wow that really sounds full on hun 🙁 A nice choice to make, to forget all the drugs and stuff and have something to look forward to, Dex will be STOKED! And I’m very embarrassed to say I did not know you were on the GC, like me, hangs head in shame. Thinking of you, but also happy you might have come to a place where you might be able to say you’re done. Thanks for giving us an update x
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Rhianna February 25, 2014 at 3:46 pm

Oh lovely that must be so hard for you. Hope you have a wonderful time in October and I too would be using it as a bribery tool well in advance.

Leaving some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses from #teamIBOT
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Dominique Goh February 25, 2014 at 6:12 pm

We just went to Tokyo Disney and Disneysea last Dec.. was really cool. The kids and I preferred Disneysea to disneyland as it was less crowded and more varied rides for the kids. I posted quite a few pictures and descriptions of the places we visited on my main blog and photoblog. You can hop over and take a look. We stayed at the Hilton Tokyo Bay when we were there..the rooms are really amazing!!
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Aroha February 25, 2014 at 6:24 pm

I’d vote for Disney too. Sending you lots of love. We very much feel like we wouldn’t be able to handle another now that N is 6 in June. I think the ship has sailed and hubby has talked about getting the snip “just in case” but I feel like I’m not THAT ready to be “done” yet. I’m about to spend $4500 on one tooth. I would much rather be putting it towards fertility assistance or Disneyland!!! xox
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Annaleis February 25, 2014 at 7:02 pm

I bet you’re exhausted! Wish I could give you a big warm hug.
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Vanessa February 25, 2014 at 7:17 pm

Sounds like it was the right decision for you. Enjoy the trip – I find tons of Disney tips on Pinterest 🙂
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Zanni Louise February 25, 2014 at 8:17 pm

What a hard and powerful decision to make. And good on you for taking time to enjoy life. Disneyland will never be forgotten! x
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Lucy @ Bake Play Smile February 27, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Wow what an incredibly hard decision! A holiday does sound like a lovely idea though. Best of luck xxx
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Danielle February 27, 2014 at 9:11 pm

Aww I think you guys need the break.. take a time out and have a blast in Disneyland!
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pc March 19, 2014 at 12:44 pm

Hi there, Im first time here, would like to give you a big hug.

A family trip will help in healing and bring lots of joy. Hopefully miracle happens;) God bless you and your family. I have not been to Tokyo Park, but the one in Hong Kong. You are right about Disney, it is a very exciting place to be!
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Wendy Parks March 25, 2014 at 9:26 pm

What a journey you have been on!
I’ve been there too. Financially strained after our IVF cycles, I’ve gone back to work part time to save money for an overseas holiday. It’s going to take time but maybe we can save enough by 2016.
I hope you have an amazing time away, and that it refreshes you emotionally and helps your little family connect in an incredible way. Holidays are so important – enjoy!
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